Am I Defending My Self from Myself?

In our daily lives, our experiences trigger a rush of thoughts, emotions, images, and memories. When these internal responses become uncomfortable, we instinctively activate psychological defense mechanisms. These defenses, ranging from conscious choices to unconscious reactions, serve to alleviate emotional distress. Consider denial, rationalization, or projection as examples of these strategies. Sometimes, without our awareness, they spring into action to shield us from discomfort. However, this protective shield comes at a psychological cost—a disconnect from our true feelings.

When immersed in intense thoughts and emotions that feel burdensome, we might encounter content that seems intolerable, compelling us to expel it. One approach involves attempting to discard this intolerable content. For instance, when I feel deep disappointment within myself, I may project these negative feelings onto someone else by accusing them of not listening or being inattentive to my needs. This momentary shift allows me to temporarily transfer the 'bad' onto them, providing relief. Another approach within these strategies is a tendency to devalue others as a means of psychological self-protection. Criticizing others often serves as an automatic defense mechanism, shielding my own vulnerabilities, sometimes without conscious realization.

Some other psychological strategies involve avoiding or suppressing activated emotions and thoughts. This can take various forms, like consciously trying to block upsetting situations from our minds, restraining tears to hide sadness, or even avoiding places that remind us of difficult experiences. This act of avoidance occurs when emotionally charged content surfaces in our consciousness.

Interestingly, some individuals heavily reliant on emotional avoidance tend to overlook emotional cues in real-life situations. For instance, if you were to present people with a narrative detailing a man's loss of his partner in a tragic accident, you would observe that individuals who frequently use emotional avoidance would struggle to respond to emotional queries related to the story (like the man's emotional reaction after the incident). However, they would readily answer factual questions (such as the location where the incident occurred). It appears that emotional information, but not factual, is sidelined or suppressed rather than processed and encoded.

This tendency to avoid emotional stimuli can impact how individuals engage with and comprehend emotionally laden information, highlighting the potential repercussions of habitual emotional avoidance strategies.

In certain situations, utilizing these defense strategies can be advantageous. For instance, when facing anxiety about public speaking, avoiding distressing thoughts before addressing an audience might seem adaptive.

However, overreliance on these strategies across various scenarios can lead to detrimental psychological effects. The more frequently these tactics are employed, disconnecting us emotionally and distorting reality, the more pronounced their adverse impacts become. Gradually, these defenses become automated, potentially impeding access to crucial information. It's akin to watching television news muted—while grasping parts, there's a risk of misinterpretation.

The psychological toll of such strategies is substantial; their continual use demands considerable energy. Suppressed or altered content persists, striving to be acknowledged, and maintaining the need for these defenses. This perpetual defense drains one's energy and proves psychologically taxing.

By recognizing how these defense mechanisms operate, we can better understand their influence on our emotional experiences. Through this awareness, we might navigate these psychological barriers more effectively, allowing a deeper connection with our genuine emotions.