Verified by 
Key points
- Workplace relationships are significant, and trust in your boss is vital.
- There are ways to assess your boss, such as asking questions and paying attention.
- Trust is tough for everyone, especially when the stakes are high, so keep a healthy and balanced perspective.
For everyone, the ability to trust others brings some level of difficulty. We have a primal level need for other humans in order to survive. But we also have a self-protecting fear of the unknown to shield us from danger. So we must trust others to thrive, and sometimes not trust them to be safe. How we assess people is a reflection of everything from our personal experience, cultural norms, and individual emotional and cognitive states. In other words, we all trust different people for different reasons on different levels. One unavoidable place for trust is in the workplace. The basics mean we have to trust that we will get paid, on time, for the labor we provide. We trust the workplace will be safe and that the company will stay in business. When it comes to relationships with managers, it gets even more critical. The person you report to is not only responsible for your day-to-day activities but your short- to medium-term professional achievements as well.
Can You Trust Your Boss? The Answers Are Around You
Ask around. Just as we consider others’ reviews of products and services before making a purchase, we can survey others to get a better sense of someone. That doesn’t mean chasing down gossip or rumors—but an occasional discreet conversation with a trusted colleague. You don’t have to go as bold as “Should I trust the boss?” Ask how they like working with them. What advice do they have about how to make a good impression? In other words, what do they value in others at work? If people are vague or non-committal, they’re still saying something. Remember that people often say nothing if they can’t say anything good. On the other hand, people usually have no hesitation endorsing someone they like—which is usually someone they trust.
Crisis reveals character. Sometimes, the best time to determine someone’s true self is at the most unpleasant moments. If your company is undergoing a reorganization or struggling because demand is down for its goods or services, the tension at work is often palpable. Watching your boss’ behavior toward others will be telling. Is it just about protecting themselves or taking care of the team? Are they looking for opportunities to help the company as a whole or just their department? Even though your instinct might be to reward a boss who looks out for your team exclusively, you also want someone who helps a team see the bigger picture.
I had a friend years ago who adored their boss as a great protector. When times were lean, they would protect their budget at all costs, even spending quickly so they wouldn’t lose budget. Then things got very tough. This person left with a large severance package—and the team lost their jobs. The point isn’t that you can’t trust a boss that has the team’s needs top of mind. But also watch for behavior that speaks to too much self-interest or morally murky behavior when times are unpredictable. You can trust someone who acts responsibly and honorably at the worst of times.
Try to avoid panic or paranoia. While it’s important to be careful who we trust, especially in a high-stakes environment like work, we also have to check our fear. A bad day or even a rough week happens to everyone. Separate, whenever possible, the emotional response from, say, a tough review of a recent project from a broader question about trust. Even people we like and trust will disappoint us or demand more of us than we feel we can give. No organization is perfect, and every relationship within it is complex and multifaceted. Your boss has their own boss to answer to (even the company owner has shareholders or customers they have to appeal to). In larger organizations, politics and bureaucracy are an avoidable dynamic that often creates extra layers of competing interests. Your boss may be negotiating other relationships in ways that you can’t see. And don’t forget that trust is a two-way street. According to one study, 80% of leaders say they trust their teams, but only 60% of employees feel trusted. Why the disconnect? Trusting someone and making them feel trusted can be two separate things. If you trust your boss, communicate that. And try to hear them if they seem to trust you, too.
Trust Your Boss Without Sacrificing Healthy Caution
When in doubt, trust your instinct. But don’t be rash. Ask others, even family and friends, for their opinions. Check your own stress and know your own personal narrative. Some of us have a harder time trusting others, especially when they have considerable influence over our lives. That doesn’t mean that conservative instinct is wrong or bad. It just requires self-awareness. And if you do feel that you can trust your boss, it doesn’t hurt to step back and make sure you are not avoiding or missing any red flags. That isn’t betrayal or suspicion. Occasionally, taking stock of the relationship is a smart and healthy practice. Relationships in the workplace—like everywhere else—are always fluid, evolving, and resetting. If you want to trust your boss, regular assessment of the relationship is an important step to take.
