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Dreaming

What I Wish I Knew Sooner

Personal Perspective: Surprising lessons of a life that didn’t go as planned.

Key points

  • You may discover new, even better dreams on the way to your old ones.
  • Being lost is what helps you find yourself.
  • Savor the journey as the destination is nothing without it.
Source: Elena Kloppenburg/Unsplash
Source: Elena Kloppenburg/Unsplash

As I’m writing this piece, I can see the golden glow of the sunset across the hills outside my window. I notice the wisteria dancing in the gentle wind, and I catch a whiff of the lavender making its way in. I sense movement beneath me and see my beloved dog, Bond, lying on my feet. I smile. How did I get so lucky to get here?

Only five years ago, I was living the frantic city life of London. I was running a one-woman business and experiencing all the stresses that came with it. I was an athlete aiming for international championships, constantly in intense training. I was dreaming big and working hard.

I spent my days rushing from one thing to the other to get everything done, though it still never seemed enough. I was always busy, often exhausted, and rarely sat still. I was approaching burnout from every angle of my life.

Then, all of a sudden, a lifeline appeared. I got the opportunity to swap the hectic city life for the calm and quiet of country living. I knew it wouldn’t get me closer to my dreams or make it easier to reach my goals. In fact, it would probably do the opposite. Yet, I wanted to do it. I was yearning for a change, and this is the change that life was offering to me. I had no idea how it would go, but I wanted to find out. So, I did it.

Immediately, it felt like a culture shock. Things slowed down to a pace I didn’t even know existed. I discovered a silence in my surrounding that almost hurt my ears. Things were accepted for what they were, even if they weren’t at their best. Apparently, they were good enough just as they were—a concept I had yet to learn.

Before I knew it, I started to question who I was and what I actually wanted out of life. I looked at my goals and dreams with confusion. Weren’t these the things that I had always wanted? Weren’t these the things that were meant to make me happy? Weren’t these the things that you were supposed to go for? Turns out—no.

It took me a while to come to grips with the new me. Or maybe it was the real me that was finally coming out. Maybe she’d been covered up by the shoulds of the world I used to live in. Now, experiencing more quiet and solitude than ever before, she started to speak up. And I started to listen.

Five years on, and I’m loving my new life. In it, I discovered a life I didn’t even know existed. I arrived at my dream life even before I knew I wanted it. Somehow, through the mess of life, I found my way home to who I was and exactly where I was meant to be.

Knowing what I know now, this is what I wish my younger self would have known, way before this transformational move:

1. Dream big—and don't be surprised if you discover new, even better dreams on the way to them.

Have dreams and really go for them. But remain open to discovering new dreams on the way. Remain open to change and evolution. You aren’t the same today that you were yesterday. Maybe your dreams aren’t either.

2. Don’t be afraid to get lost.

Change is scary, and it can make you question everything. This isn’t a bad thing. Feeling lost isn’t a bad thing. Often, it’s in these moments that you find yourself the most.

3. Take it slow.

Slow and steady always wins the race—whatever the race might be. Savor every step. Be mindful of the journey. The destination is nothing without it.

4. Be open to things that aren’t in the plan.

It’s good to have a plan. But it’s not good to be stubbornly inflexible with it. Adapt as you move through it. Keep your eye out for opportunities. Be open to the things you hadn’t even thought of before. These can end up being the best things in your life.

5. Breathe.

There aren’t many things that don’t feel better after a few deep breaths. So make the time to take them. Remind yourself that oxygen is your livelihood. Remind yourself what a gift it is to be alive.

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