Task Management: Tendencies and Traps

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We tend to approach the daily tasks of life in set ways. For example, perhaps you like to complete tasks as soon as possible or procrastinate and push tasks off.

Our behavioral patterns are familiar and comfortable but not necessarily helpful. They tend to be ingrained and automatic and we might not be aware of our patterns. We just act on autopilot.

Living well with a chronic health condition, and in general, often requires intentional behavior and choices related to how you engage in activities and manage tasks. Acting automatically based on emotions and/or behavior patterns may feel comfortable yet can actually be a trap. Backing you into a corner, limiting your options and sense of empowerment, and increasing unpleasant physical symptoms and sensations.

For example, I am naturally “a doer” and do not like the anxiety I feel when it seems like a task is hanging over my head. Anxiety leads me to jump to complete tasks as soon as possible and this approach has costs. Life's to-do list is never-ending, and if I am constantly pushing to get things done and get them done now, my pain and fatigue are worse.

I have to practice tolerating the discomfort of sitting with the anxiety that arises when not jumping to complete a task as soon as possible, and it takes time to learn via my direct experience that it is truly okay to not respond immediately and do something differently. It’s a relearning process.

We have all learned to think and do things a certain way. This learning is ingrained and reinforced. For example, completing a task quickly may be positively reinforced by being praised or negatively reinforced via my anxiety decreasing. Reinforcement strengthens and maintains behavior, yet it is possible to unlearn unhelpful patterns and relearn more helpful ones.

Increasing awareness of your behavioral tendencies and traps is important because you have to know what you are currently doing before you consider making a change.

Awareness of Your Behavioral (and Emotional) Tendencies

It can be helpful to think about, and write down, how you typically move through the day and approach tasks. Below are a few questions that may be useful to consider:

• Are you someone who tries to complete tasks as soon as possible or someone who tends to push tasks off?
• Do you typically move through tasks quickly, or do you tend to take a fair amount of time?
• What emotions arise for you when you are confronted with a to-do list—stress, anxiety, calm, boredom, etc.? Emotions can influence behaviors. For example, if feeling anxious about a task you may jump to complete it quickly or you may push it off as a way to avoid anxiety.
• Relatedly, what emotions arise for you when tasks are uncompleted, particularly uncompleted for a fair amount of time?
• Is it difficult for you to rest and/or take a break when tasks are uncompleted?
• In general, what are your expectations related to completing tasks? Do you desire tasks to be completed in a particular way? Do you notice yourself using words/phrases such as “perfect” or “not good enough”? Is it difficult for you to feel satisfied with how you complete a task? Do your expectations vary depending on the type of task or are they consistent?
• Relatedly, what emotions and/or thoughts arise when you do not meet your expectations?
• What are the benefits, and costs, of your automatic behaviors/tendencies? Understanding the benefits and costs of your current behaviors can help to highlight what you may want to do differently.

I encourage you to reflect on your tendencies with compassion vs. judgment or criticism. The aim is to be attentive and curious. You are not labeling behaviors as good or bad. You can recognize behavior as unhelpful and choose to do something differently without labeling the behavior, or yourself, as bad.