Is Purpose or Pleasure the Key to Happiness As We Age?

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The benefits of having a sense of purpose in life (detailed here) are truly amazing. People with purpose tend to be happier, healthier, and even wealthier. They are more likely to practice healthy habits, sleep better, enjoy stronger personal relationships, and have better mental health. Moreover, they have a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s.

Purpose may be even more important as we cross the Great Divide of age 50. According to British researchers Andrew Steptoe and Daisy Fancourt, “Maintaining a sense that life is worthwhile may be particularly important at older ages when social and emotional ties often fragment, social engagement is reduced, and health problems may limit personal options.”

But even though I am a fan of pursuing purpose, lately I have started to question whether an over-emphasis on purpose can be unhealthy. If we can’t have fun and leisure after a lifetime of work and family responsibilities, when can we? And can’t we have both pleasure and purpose? (Spoiler alert: Yes, we can.)

I tackle these issues in the rest of this blog.

The Case for Purpose

Writer Cynthia Vinney, in a fascinating article here, points to research indicating that happiness that comes from purpose is longer-lasting and can even raise our happiness “set point.” Unlike pleasure activities, purpose activities require more effort and time, but ultimately may lead to a greater sense of long-term satisfaction with oneself and one’s life.

PT blogger Steve Taylor cites additional benefits of purpose: "With a strong sense of purpose, we become very resilient, able to overcome challenges, and to bounce back after setbacks. We are also better able to deal with—and perhaps more motivated to overcome—the painful effects of past trauma." As a research project, Taylor and colleagues studied different types of purpose. The results indicated that “… an altruistic and a ‘self-expansive’ purpose were much more strongly associated with well-being… This often means following a creative path, or a path of personal or spiritual development.”

Purpose can arguably even help us face death. In The Myths of Happiness, psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky cites research that suggests we can better manage death anxiety by pursuing meaning in our lives. Because we fear death, “we are driven to do something that will make our lives count in the larger picture and leave a lasting mark on the world that persists beyond our individual selves and lifetimes.”

The Case for Fun

While the advantages of finding purpose are impressive, recent research also reveals the benefits of leisure and fun.

For example, PT blogger Lynn Zubernis describes four recent studies involving over 1,300 participants in four different countries that link leisure time to better mental health. People who “felt that leisure activities were a waste of time had higher levels of depression, anxiety, and stress than those who valued engaging in leisure pursuits.” Zubernis also notes that “With so much cultural emphasis on being busy and purposeful, leisure can feel unproductive or even selfish, leading to feelings of guilt.”

Marketing professor Travis Tae Oh goes even further. In an article entitled, “Why Fun is the Key to Happiness as We Age,” Oh dares to say that, “Perhaps influenced by demands of modern society, I believe we are placing too much emphasis on finding meaning and fulfillment in life (via career accomplishments or social relationships) as the holy grail of happiness, with little regard for fun.” Moreover, he offers an enticing definition of “fun,” writing that “Although individuals may vary in the types of activities that they consider fun, the experience of fun is generally characterized by a sense of liberation and hedonic engagement.”

Cynthia Vinney points out that pleasure gives us an emotional uplift, providing us with “positive affect, carefreeness, vitality, and life satisfaction.” Although hedonic pleasures are often described as “fleeting,” they give us experiences of joy and happiness that help us get through the day and even make headway on our purpose projects. (And what's the matter with "fleeting" anyway?)

Happiness Essential Reads

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Other research offers a more nuanced view. In a 2021 study, researchers investigated how free time was related to well-being. They discovered that as a person's free time increased, so did that person's sense of well-being—but only up to a point. Too much free time led to boredom, aimlessness, and well… lack of purpose. In fact, the researchers offered this recommendation: “In cases when people do find themselves with excessive amounts of discretionary time, such as retirement or having left a job, our results suggest these individuals would benefit from spending their newfound time with purpose."

Hmm. Is there a Goldilocks point here—amounts of pleasure and purpose that are "just right?"

Finding Your Unique Pleasure/Purpose Balance

Ultimately, each person must make their own decision about the "just right" doses of pleasure and purpose for them. Here are a few suggestions for everyone, but especially for those approaching or in retirement:

1. Make sure every day includes some pleasures and some accomplishments. PT blogger Alice Boyes proposes that simple but powerful formula here. She writes, “For mood health, we need two types of activities: those that provide a sense of accomplishment and those that provide pleasure.” In other words, fun can lift your mood, and so can getting things done.
2. When it comes to retirement, think about whether you are more "comfort-oriented" or "growth-oriented." These terms come from retirement expert Mike Drak in his book, Retirement Heaven or Hell. Drak looked forward to a comfort-oriented retirement after a long career in finance. He soon discovered that for him, all that leisure time was... well, hell. Needing something more, he eventually started a business helping others define their own purpose in retirement.
3. Find balance. Again, from Mike Drak: “To create your own version of retirement heaven, you need to find balance and the right mix of work, leisure, health, and relationships.” The "right mix of work, leisure, health, and relationships" is a solid foundation for happiness at any age.
4. Find purpose in everyday kindnesses. You may not have a Purpose with a capital P, but you can be on the watch for small ways you can contribute—giving someone a compliment, thanking people, listening to someone with a problem, calling a sick friend, or volunteering.
5. Organize your day so that you have some free time and some structured time. Do you have too much or too little free time? Asking yourself this question may help with decisions about how to alter your schedule so that your days are more fulfilling.
6. Clarify your own definition of “fun.” Then have some of it! When you think of "fun," do you think about running for three miles or watching your favorite TV show? Going to a party or going for a walk? Recognize that your own idea of fun is valid (assuming it does not hurt you or another person).
7. Work less or part-time instead of retiring completely. I chose this path, and it worked great for me. I was able to start my retirement purpose projects while teaching and counseling part-time. Bonus: I could connect regularly with my beloved colleagues.

The Blurry Line Between Pleasure and Purpose

"Fun" and "purpose" are shape-shifters. Some people pursue their hobbies—whether tennis, quilting, or running—with a zeal that others reserve for purposeful work. A great idea often "pops up" on a leisurely walk meant purely for pleasure.

Any activity that leads you into a state of "flow" can bestow the sense of liberation mentioned above by Professor Oh. I experienced these feelings while working on my "pandemic purpose project," a book on healthy aging that eventually became my latest book, Silver Sparks. I had so much work-fun that I felt like the guy in the musical, The Pajama Game, who sings, "I can hardly wait / to wake and get to work at eight."

Why choose between pleasure and purpose? If you can infuse your life with both, you will find that you are happier. In fact, my favorite definition of happiness, by researcher Tal Ben-Shahar, is just that: "The ongoing experience of both pleasure and purpose."

(c) Meg Selig, 2021. (For permissions, click here.)