All Families Are Not Alike

Autism

My Autistic Son Asked to "Call Mom"

Susan Senator on April 23, 2024

Personal Perspective: Autism research emphasizes “independence over perfection.” Remember, whatever your child cannot do by graduation, someone else might have to do for them.

Personal Perspective: Autism research emphasizes “independence over perfection.” Remember, whatever your child cannot do by graduation, someone else might have to do for them.

Personal Perspectives

Autism and the Loss of Skills

Susan Senator on February 7, 2024

A Personal Perspective: Loss of skills in an autistic person may not be permanent; sometimes, returning to the skill later, in a different context, is all that's needed.

A Personal Perspective: Loss of skills in an autistic person may not be permanent; sometimes, returning to the skill later, in a different context, is all that's needed.

Autism

A Successful Holiday Strategy for an Autism Family

Susan Senator on December 7, 2023

How to make your own child's personal storybook for whatever they might be struggling with, including tailored solutions.

How to make your own child's personal storybook for whatever they might be struggling with, including tailored solutions.

Autism

The Profound Challenge of Autism and Passivity

Susan Senator on November 2, 2023

Personal Perspective: In one excruciating moment, my son understood the relationship of his choice to the disappointment of what followed.

Personal Perspective: In one excruciating moment, my son understood the relationship of his choice to the disappointment of what followed.

Autism

Matters of Time in Autism

Susan Senator on October 13, 2023

Personal Perspective: All of us must achieve independence to whatever degree possible and take our place in the world as adults. Why not my autistic son as well?

Personal Perspective: All of us must achieve independence to whatever degree possible and take our place in the world as adults. Why not my autistic son as well?

Autism

With Autism, at Any Age, Never Say “Never”

Susan Senator on June 29, 2023

Personal Perspective: Just a simple conversation, a few words from my autistic adult son, gives me enough hope to sustain me through the toughest times.

Personal Perspective: Just a simple conversation, a few words from my autistic adult son, gives me enough hope to sustain me through the toughest times.

Autism

What Happens To My Autistic Loved One When I Die?

Susan Senator on May 26, 2023

Personal Perspective: Members of the disability community could help out with each others' disabled loved ones by spending a little time with them, in exchange for the same.

Personal Perspective: Members of the disability community could help out with each others' disabled loved ones by spending a little time with them, in exchange for the same.

Autism

Cake-Baking and Connecting With People

Susan Senator on April 25, 2023

A Personal Perspective: My autistic son visits on Saturdays and we have continued our lockdown baking tradition.

A Personal Perspective: My autistic son visits on Saturdays and we have continued our lockdown baking tradition.

Stress

Managing My Overwhelming Stress

Susan Senator on March 18, 2023

A Personal Perspective: Is there a way to dial back the intensity, the anxiety I feel when I look at my son?

A Personal Perspective: Is there a way to dial back the intensity, the anxiety I feel when I look at my son?

Stress

The Terrible Stress of Autism Parenting

Susan Senator on February 28, 2023

A Personal Perspective: I carry around enormous stress—the constant worry about my autistic son, past, present and future, and that I cannot give him the best life, the life he deserves.

A Personal Perspective: I carry around enormous stress—the constant worry about my autistic son, past, present and future, and that I cannot give him the best life, the life he deserves.

Autism

The Secret to Connecting With My Autistic Son

Susan Senator on January 30, 2023

Personal Perspective: My son Nat will not be patronized or duped, and he knows when people really want to be with him. In other words, you really have to care—you can't fake it.

Personal Perspective: My son Nat will not be patronized or duped, and he knows when people really want to be with him. In other words, you really have to care—you can't fake it.

Autism

How My Autism Family Rescued Our Christmas

Susan Senator on December 31, 2022

A Personal Perspective: I stood at the kitchen island, looking at all the gingerbread-building materials, and wondered how I would get through this.

A Personal Perspective: I stood at the kitchen island, looking at all the gingerbread-building materials, and wondered how I would get through this.

Education

How to Be an Imperfect Parent

Susan Senator on November 21, 2022

A Personal Perspective: These days, I am working to build a life for Nat that is sustainable and satisfying—not perfect.

A Personal Perspective: These days, I am working to build a life for Nat that is sustainable and satisfying—not perfect.

What is the secret to an autism residence's success? Is it about size or staff training? Or housemates' compatibility? The answer is complex.

Autism

Biking With My Autistic Son

Susan Senator on September 22, 2022

A Personal Perspective: On a bike, my autistic son Nat found a way to be free; he had, at last, found a world that he could master. And we could enjoy that world together.

A Personal Perspective: On a bike, my autistic son Nat found a way to be free; he had, at last, found a world that he could master. And we could enjoy that world together.

Autism

Autism Adult Dental Care: 6 Tips for Professionals

Susan Senator on August 23, 2022

Dental professionals must understand all potential autism issues: communication, behavioral, sensory, logistical, and financial.

Dental professionals must understand all potential autism issues: communication, behavioral, sensory, logistical, and financial.

Cognition

Regrouping From a Bike Accident

Susan Senator on July 24, 2022

All of my husband's limitations—fuzzy head from the meds, not being allowed to drive, and just plain not knowing what was wrong—were temporary. Yet he was grieving.

All of my husband's limitations—fuzzy head from the meds, not being allowed to drive, and just plain not knowing what was wrong—were temporary. Yet he was grieving.

Autism

My Autistic Son's Bar Mitzvah

Susan Senator on June 4, 2022

As Nat's mom, I'd experienced losses right along with him. I burned with the injustice of a world that would look at this beautiful bright child and then simply dismiss him.

As Nat's mom, I'd experienced losses right along with him. I burned with the injustice of a world that would look at this beautiful bright child and then simply dismiss him.

Autism

Being My Autistic Adult Son’s Teacher: When Is It Enough?

Susan Senator on May 26, 2022

A Personal Perspective: Is it still necessary to push, prompt, and prepare Nat for social interactions? Even if he is an adult?

A Personal Perspective: Is it still necessary to push, prompt, and prepare Nat for social interactions? Even if he is an adult?

Start by presuming competence, then provide meaningful context, plumb the paths of communication that work best for the bereaved, and begin the conversation.