Cupid's Poisoned Arrow

It's logical to conclude that our fitful monogamy is purely culturally induced and not instinctual. (On the other hand, we readily seem to accept that promiscuous tendencies are wired into our brains.) In fact, however, we are programmed to pair bond—just as we're programmed to add notches to our belts. A better understanding of our fragile pair-bonding program can furnish important clues for relationship contentment and even greater well-being. Read More

The infamous bonobo chimps, whose males sport supersize testicles, nevertheless engage in "rather casual and relaxed" sexual activity for social bonding, frequently without orgasm. And macaque male monkeys ejaculate in scarcely half of their copulations. Primate sex often serves goals other than fertilization or orgasm. Why are we so single-minded? Read More

Bonding behaviors, or attachment cues, are subconscious signals that can make emotional ties surprisingly effortless. But there are some curious aspects to them. First, in order to sustain the sparkle in a relationship these behaviors need to occur daily, or almost daily.... Read More

August 25th marks the 53rd anniversary of Alfred C. Kinsey’s death. He was a key figure in condemning sexual repression, and I’m grateful for his contribution. At the same time, I hope our society can now exercise the same courage he once demonstrated—by rethinking some of his conclusions. Read More