Ambigamy

Insights for the Deeply Romantic and Deeply Skeptical

Jeremy Sherman is an evolutionary epistemologist studying the natural history and practical realities of decision making. See full bio

November 7, 2009

Self-confidence: Less self-generated than you notice until you're unemployed

Unemployment has reached its highest level in 26 years. If you're un-, or under-employed this one's for you. It's for you too if your children recently moved out, if you just quit a club or ended a friendship or partnership. Really, its for anyone whose life somehow became less populated recently.
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November 4, 2009

Constraint propagation: A completely new take on souls

With synergy it's not that the whole is more than the sum of its parts, it's less. Read More

November 2, 2009

Causality's gremlins: We think we've exterminated them, but nope.

Witches, goblins, and gremlins with magical powers, kings hand-picked by God, glass spheres with star-holes encapsulating the earth, rocks falling to earth because they want to be where they belong... Read More

November 1, 2009

Broken Symmetry: Nobel physicist explains why you miss old places, friends

The bittersweet sad intense pain of missing a place, a person, a crew, a time.

What's with that? How does that happen? Here's a take on it you probably haven't heard before.
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October 30, 2009

Emergence research: Just how did matter become mattering?

I work in a field called emergence which is trying to solve such ginormous mysteries as how information emerges from energy, how life emerges from chemistry, how selves emerge from atoms, how soulishness emerges from life, how purpose emerges from non-purpose.
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October 28, 2009

Get a life: Should it mean understand a life or just move on?

When things don't go well, those of us who are receptive/prone to self-doubt wonder why and whose fault it was. We toss and turn the hot potato of guilt. We want to hand it off quickly but the potato comes back. So we cycle.
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October 19, 2009

Coulda woulda shoulda: Four directions in conflict resolution

Why isn't he improving? May he can but won't because he dosen't want to. Maybe he can't. Maybe he shouldn't. If you're stuck wondering long enough which it is, then maybe you have to give up and simply say, "cuda wooda shoulda" meaning "no use wondering why. All I know is he didn't improve." Read More

October 15, 2009

The wetware imperative: Stopping small-mindedness before it kills us

There have always been small minded people who can't see beyond their immediate self-interest, people who insist on short term gain even if it costs them more in the long run, people who insist on getting more for themselves even if it costs everyone around them.
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October 14, 2009

Mid-mid-life crisis: Stage two lessons in animal hasbeendry

I had a mid-life crisis around forty. It was conventional and by that I mean head-implodingly fierce, deep, miserable--a seemingly interminable plummeting. It was prompted by the usual questions: Is that all I am? Is this all there is? Am I already at this late a stage of the game? Read More

October 12, 2009

The invincible man: Intentions are pure but disconnected from behavior

Imagine someone whose intentions are beyond reproach. He really really wants to do the right thing. He declares that he cares completely about you. Nevertheless, his intentions have negligible effect on his actions. Read More

Relationships Basics

Love is the most profound emotion known to human beings. For most people, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element in their lives. But the ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. Almost all of us have experienced a failed relationship, and most of us have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish.

Go to the Relationships Basics page for more on Relationships including:

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