Everyone's selling happiness these days--drug dealers,
pharmaceuticalcompanies, Hollywood producers, toy companies, self-help
gurus, and, of course, the Disney Company, creator of the Happiest Place
on Earth. Even psychologists are joining in, prompted by University of
Pennsylvania researcher Martin E. P. Seligman, prime mover of the new
"positive psychology" movement.
But the quest for happiness is probably overrated and is,
ironically, the cause of much unhappiness. One of the inspirational
quotes I kept above my desk when I was in graduate school read,
"Well-being and happiness never appeared to me as an absolute aim. I am
even inclined to compare such moral aims to the ambitions of a pig." The
author was a relatively happy man named Albert Einstein.
Einstein wasn't recommending that we seek misery but rather that
the pursuit of happiness as an end in itself is ignoble. Mental health
professionals also teach us that happiness is akin to an oily, sudsy bar
of soap: it can slip out of your hands. Demanding happiness, even
desiring it, can keep it out of reach. Religious leaders like the Dalai
Lama insist that the only way to achieve real happiness is by making
others happy--yet another irony. And some teach that happiness can be
achieved only through extreme asceticism, which would seem to contradict
the messages we get from most TV commercials.
In this special issue of PSYCHOLOGY TODAY, we offer some useful,
thoughtful insights on happiness and fulfillment. Based on an analysis of
thousands of surveys, psychologist Steven Reiss, Ph.D., suggests that we
can achieve happiness by clarifying our values and then living
accordingly. We doom ourselves to misery, he says, when we confuse
happiness with pleasure (so much for those commercials). In our PT
interview, Albert Ellis, Ph.D.--perhaps the most famous living therapist
in the world--insists that we manufacture much of our own misery and,
more important, that we have the power, through rational thinking, to
improve our outlook and feelings. A variety of experts in this issue,
including pioneering media psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers, will, we
hope, bring happiness into new perspective for you.
Many Americans seem to think that the U. S. Constitution entitles
everyone to a happy life, but the Constitution only guarantees the right
to "pursue" this elusive state. Oddly enough, happiness is probably not a
state we should even try to pursue. It seems to emerge as a byproduct of
fulfilling activities. Identify and practice those activities, and you
just might find--if you ever slow down to think about it--that you're
happy. As writer Edith Wharton put it, "If only we'd stop trying to be
happy we could have a pretty good time."
Robert Epstein, Ph.D., is editor-in-chief of PSYCHOLOGY TODAY and
host of the magazine daily radio program, accessible 24 hours a day at
www.psychologytoday.com. He's also University Research Professor United
States International University and Director Emeritus of the Cambridge
Center for Behavioral Studies.
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